These Four Things

About nourishment, resistance, and the simplest truths that save us.

Many years ago, I had a spiritual director.
He was gentle, warm, and annoyingly cheerful.

I would show up to our meetings exhausted, overwhelmed, and armed with a well-organized list of Problems with Life. I poured them out onto his metaphorical desk like a suitcase of tangled laundry. I was expecting sympathy, guidance, maybe an insight or two.

Instead, he would just smile and say:

And honestly?
In that moment?
I wanted to punch him in the face.

But years later, I get it.

Those “problems” were life handing me the next stretch of the road. The next climb. They weren’t mistakes in the script—
they were the script.
My obstacles weren’t interruptions to the path.
They were the path.

And then he said something I’ll never forget.

He told me, “There are four things you’re not doing. No one can do them for you. But if you only do these four things, most of your problems will vanish.”

The Four Things:

1. Eat
2. Sleep
3. Exercise
4. Meditate

And he was right.

1. EAT.

Not just grab whatever’s available.
Not just caffeine and convenience.
But actually listen to your body. Feed it like it matters.
Because it does.
When I was overwhelmed, I’d ignore hunger as if it were optional.
Turns out… it’s not.

2. SLEEP.

Not doom scroll and collapse at 2am.
Not push through fatigue like it’s noble.
But real, deep rest.
I thought I could out-hustle exhaustion. But I was just building a life on a tired foundation.

3. EXERCISE.

Not to punish the body, or perform, or keep up.
But to move, to breathe, to remember that the body wants to be alive.
I was exercising, yes—but without food and rest? I was burning the candle from both ends with no wax left.

4. MEDITATE.

Not in a perfect lotus pose on a mountain,
but simply sit still. Breathe. Listen.
To the body. To the thoughts. To the silence underneath it all.
Of course my meditations felt scattered—I was trying to find peace while running on fumes.

When I finally did these four things consistently—not perfectly, just consistently—
things started to shift.

The world didn’t change.
But my experience of it did.

I became a little more grounded.
A little less reactive.
Less hungry for external solutions, because I was finally giving myself what I needed on the inside.

And yes—it’s still hard.
It’s hard to slow down.
It’s hard to eat when you’re too busy.
Hard to rest when you’re trained to prove your worth by how much you do.
Hard to sit in silence when your mind feels like static.

But what’s harder?
Living out of balance.

These Four Things.
They’re not fancy.
They’re not sexy.
They won’t trend.

But they work.

So if you’re feeling frayed, forget the twenty-step plan.
Just check in with the basics.

Start there.
And see what softens.